Momento

It is hard to start something so big having worked so hard to get it started only to finally begin at the passing of another. For most my life I never really got along as well as I should have. There were a few moments I remember, the time at grandma's house when me and him walked together and it felt like the first time we ever got to spend together, I was about eight (maybe). There was always an underlining fear or sorts, I don't know what became of it past that. One day I grew up, no longer able to be put over his knee and I started to learn who he was. I visited him across the country, every day was trying there but I learned who he really was. I guess it must be Stockholm syndrom or I realized the pains he went through in his life that made him as he was and respected his ernest nature. He was hurt, many times and didn't really know how to deal with it. For a period of time we shared those moments again, as though we were never separated for ten long years. The man who once disiplined me as a child was now the man who guided me without repremand. This man made me very happy, made me who I am and though he had his mistakes and his prejudices, his mistrust, his quirks, his roar and bark, his crazy ideas and his opinions that differed from my own, I would have to choose to inherit the qualities that made him shine. We've had many differences, we had many quarels and aspirations. Though there were tough times, this man was my father; I cannot change that, nor would I. There is nothing that can be done now, no arguement or answer, there are no more grudges left, only love, and what could have been. I will always wish there was more but "All is okay..."

You know... I've been paying for this server, for as long as this momento has been here. I miss you dad. Some times more than ever... But you picked a pretty decent time to fold'em, all things considered. The way things are going in the world, you were one of the lucky ones to be spared our idiocracy... I just wish I had your guidance for dealing with it. Really...