(GE Copy)

Chapter 17: Dinner With A Cute Snake (Part 2).

...Like heavy sand bags there came a response “Lest he dash what remains of his soul into their stone heart, I should think better that he remove that deceitful pestilence before it consumes what is left of his shallow mind.”

The streets slowly rolled up for the night, as it reached five o-clock, and the restaurants opened the air with the aromas of every flavour. Couples walked their way down the road to meet with the waitress and their reservations, but not Aaron. His mind replayed the scene over and over on a short circuit, wondering what became of it. The most precious memory, left sealed away, left him for near nothing and the mystery of why they meant so much, slipped out of his fingers forever. Probably forever. He couldn’t really see much in the way of it coming back, depression don’t really like to work like that. The cruel world, seemed to want to separate them, and Aaron believed it as gospel.

He jingled the change in his pocket, and headed for the store; but when he got there, he wanted nothing, and his stomach turned at everything. He looked at the old door to the movie rental store just down the way, now an empty space for rent. He walked the ally way, smelling the baby’s breath grow along the hill, and to a little house crowed and shoved in the back of a newspaper office, picture gallery, and the Cozy Bay. Who’d want to live in a house like that? Someone must have loved it, or hadn’t the money to afford anywhere else. It was a peaceful ally, and he liked that. He saw the fish and chip shop owners parked around back, greeting the staff for the night, joyous to attend their shifts. Even in a place like this, people were happier than him.

He came out into the main street where it met with down town, smelling the putrid roast of fresh beans, Aaron’s mood went from sour to worse. He looked at the four story church along the hillside of North Victoria, before it became South Victoria and the road home, then to the half ally beside the town park and went for it. This park always had a lot of good memories, from the horse shoe pits that he never used, to the drinking fountain he’d climb and also never use. They had school rumours about it even being turned on for the season or not, probably why he never used it. That and mononucle-‘oh-no’-sis. He looked to the stage, where anyone could stand and pretend to be a star, and it seemed there wasn’t actually so many good memories after all so he left it.

There was the playground where he could never get to play at; and when he was old enough to choose to come here, it was always littered with kids, and he didn’t want to disturb them. That and Zack was at his ‘too-cool-to-be-seen-at-a-park’ phase. It was free today, no one there. Aaron lifted himself onto the deck, across the bridge, through the bars and onto the slide to sit and think. It would have been a lot better if he had memories of playing here more, something to relive, but all he could recall were a handful of moments before his mother got too bored and took them home. He sat there, looking out, seeing nothing. All he could think of, was Felicity. A kid ran up along the path, and he slid down to give them the park all to themselves, only to soak up the dew at the slide’s bottom, and wet his trousers. The father saw the sadness in Aaron’s eyes, and could not find the words to lift him up, then returned to his joyous daughter who cleaved passionately to the jungle gym.

It was as though everything he just done for the last half hour blew past him in a breeze, as though Aaron tried to replace the aching in him, but nothing would break his sadness.

To his side was a group of stoners, probably, they were that type anyway. They looked nice enough. It was the other reason his mom never came by very often, because she was allergic to the smell of pot, and he had to suffer for it. They had people from all over, transients, french fruit pickers, Jamaican tourists, hippies, musicians, snake ladies... Sorry, snake men. Hold up. Sitting in amidst the group of outcasts sat one finely dressed mother effer, with long blue hair and fish like frills on their clothes, socializing with the outcasts. Aaron walked up. “Felicity...”

Felicity didn’t hear Aaron at first, but as he repeated, their eyes met. “Oh bugger off...” Felicity shooed. “Finally found some people that accept me.”

“Hey... I just wanted to talk is all...”

“Hey,” One of the circle called out to Aaron “The lady says she wants you to bugger off...” Following a word that I can’t repeat on account of my skin colour.

“I don’t mean any disrespect...” Aaron assured, “I just came to clear some things up.

“Well it look like you do disrespect, she says to fuck off, so how about you fuck off... ‘clear things up’, puh!” Mocking as he turned to the lady in question. “So, this is the guy you were talking about, ‘aight? Putting moves on ya, making you feel shit?”

“Felicity, I’m sorry...” Still trying to reach his friend past the argumentative brute, “I don’t know how to make it right...”

Still defensive of the group’s new addition, the man of colour continued to wedge in between. “Well, maybe you should give her some room, ‘stead of running your ass up here in our space for your weenie ass sob story. Put a couple years on boy! She twice yo age and don’t need that damn shit right after you go poking what don’t belong.”

“Felicity, you mean more to me than I can explain.” Watching the dip in Felicity’s head, “I don’t feel right leaving this lik...”

“Kid, I ain’t gonna tell you again, to fuck off, or do I have to get my ass from this ground...?” Watching Felicity take a stand at his threat, and walk out of the circle. “Hey, hey, don’t you go back to that piece of shit right there, skinny dweeb ass kid ain’t growed up enough. He gonna treat you the same, and he ain’t gonna learn that way, and he ain’t mean what he say. You best leave his ass.” Taking a puff to calm himself down, “If you need us to deal with him, we’ll show him the back door. He can’t bully you like that. Not you, blue...”

“Eat me alive, asshole!” Felicity scowled to the circle of people.

“Hey, we looking out for you, don’t be giving us no damn lip. You hear me? Bad news walking beside you, throwing you for a ride. Fuck his ass...” Watching Felicity quietly walk off, “Dumbass... She’ll be back, when he does it again to her... Mark my words, you know I’m always right.” Passing the peace pipe to the next to sneer at the boy, while lifting his voice “He gonna hurt you lady, you hear!?”

One man got up to be told by a dozen more docile people, to let it go and that it ‘wuddent worth it’ “Nah,” The scrappy looking man replied, scratching the patchy shag under his boney chin. “Kid needs to learn some sense, I seen a million losers like him, treating women all wrong... Got a rotten attitude, bringing that shit here in front of everyone...” But his pants fell, cut, and slightly bleeding at the legs. “Ah, shit, what’s this crap about?” Too busy tending to his sliced ego and pride to chase the boy.

Returning the sharp blade back to the air, Felicity walked grumpily beside Aaron, tearing up underneath the anger. “They just see what they want to see, don’t they?”

“Yup...” Aaron replied, dreary under the shock of almost getting into a fight with twelve protective men.

“We chuckled, had fun together, and not even they know I’m a guy... I felt like they liked me, but then they treat me like I have no sense to make the right choice, like I couldn’t stand up for myself, like they had to do it for me when I just wanted everyone to leave it alone... Like I’m weak or something, just because of what they see...”

“Yup...”

“Like I wasn’t even a person, just a helpless victim that they had protect by choosing for me instead, and belittle me afterwords... Are they all like this?”

“Probably... I don’t mean to say that I understand the workings of the world but to the greater extent, they’re... Blind. I often pity them... It sounds disrespectful, I don’t want to be pitied, I want to believe that I’m not in a hole too; so when I look at everyone else and they don’t realize that same obvious fate, wading through soil, I wonder if I’m on any higher ground than them. Maybe I’m just blind to the shit rising past my shoulders, guilty like they are... So, maybe they really do aught to be pitied, like me... When you look at it like that, it don’t feel like being looked down upon anymore. Maybe it just means we care...”

“You can pity them... It’s not for me. I guess, I ask more of this world than is owed to me...”

“Yeah, well, people here ain’t going to give it, either. It shouldn’t be that way, but that’s what they do. They’re cruel, expect things of others, and take everything for granted... And... With all my ‘they this’s and ‘they that’s, maybe I’m infected with it too... I sure don’t feel any better than them. I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just a shock is all. I do, still, very much care about you. I can’t explain what it is, or why I feel this way. If you’re a woman, or a man, I don’t know if that changes it... I just got carried away with you and when I woke up, I realized I was asking more from you than I needed. You’re... Important, for reasons I can’t even remember because they take it away from me. I’ve accepted this, but I know what I feel, and what I feel is that you hold the key to who I am... Somehow. The thing that no one ever gave me the chance to find...” Nearly tearing up at the thought. “I would do anything to keep that...”

“Sure feel like an object at that rate...”

“I don’t mean it like that...” Snuffing the snoz back

“I don’t mind... Having purpose is better than being their object to look at like I’m some kind of pet... I guess two objects in space finally realize that they need one another to survive. When you look at it like that, it’s not selfish. I needed you too, it’s mutual, beautiful even... And maybe, I felt hurt, because I care about you so much. I never could have done this alone, weak as I was --You’re really weak, but... I gave up hope, and you kept going... I admire that.”

“I gave up too, though. I think it was right before I met you... I don’t think I’ve gotten my hope back since then, but I have you now... I can live my final hours like that.” Still feeling the weight of his fears disappearing beside him. Aaron looked to the mended break, and then to the town that they were still in. “Come on, let’s keep moving. I’ll make you somewhere to sleep. Besides, you prefer being a snake anyway, I don’t have to build you the Taj Mahal or anything. We can put these thirty two dollars into something useful instead of changing what you look like.”

The hours breezed by with fresh air at sunset. Aaron scooted the bag upon the garage floor, and moved the stockpile blocking his old love. A wooden box, a couple holes, no welds, a bunch of screws and a ton of useless wires. The more Aaron looked at his old go cart project, the more he realized it was never going to come to flourishion and dismantled the old dream for something new. It was a crappy design anyway, made out of the desire to do what he wasn’t old enough to, and patched together with dreams of freedom and escape: Like going to the park or his shallow attempts to dig a tunnel there. He popped the wheels, then the things being held inside. He felt a part of him give up and die as he removed the engine, even though he’d never once gotten it to work, nor knew how to. At the end, his dream amounted to a wooden box, and various other useless components; perhaps that’s all there was to begin with, but now, it was all he got from it. It wasn’t covered in motor oil so he didn’t need to scrap it, but Aaron felt a bit disheartened to see it go, even if it were for something immediately useful.

He removed the lid on his cheap bottle of clam and tomato, while chewing his last pepperoni; it was supper, he supposed. He looked around, not sure where to put all the pieces now that it was loose. He popped the seal, and slowly picked away at desert: Cheap gummy candy, marshmallows and jelly cups. It wasn’t much but it was the last of his money after buying the things on his list. Aaron looked to the snake’s attentive gaze set at the birds, who’s wings could lift them from the ground in the back yard, then to it’s frays of fins which frills could not. “Wishing for the things we ain’t got?” Aaron solemnly uttered. “Wishing will only give you an idea of what you want, and when you get there it’s not always sunshine... Though, it’s not like I had the motivation to see it through...”

Turning human to answer him back, “...Do you not feel the same?” Half phased between forms

“Said the bird to the fish.” Setting his box aside. “I imagine they too look at the water in envy. I can neither fly, nor swim more than half a nautical measurement. Be nice if I had what you had, but I have neither...”

“Then you can understand not having, can’t you? What good is the water when the sky is much more full? And the sky oppresses us all to the earth. Why not dream to conquer it?”

“We know most things about the sky, but the ocean we know nearly nothing of. Is it not more intriguing than what we can see everywhere with our naked eye?”

“I hear you talking to yourself in here?” Paul opened the door into the garage. Aaron tucked Felicity away with his bag of recent goods underneath the scrap pile. Solemnly his Father confirmed. “Ah... It is you... Well, you go on another adventure?” But Aaron shook his head. “Sure seemed determined, whatever you were, to get away from here when I was needing a hand. Not that you can help me sit on the throne at all after a scare like that...”

“Oh...” Aaron realized, feeling rather guilty. “Suppose that was a terrible time to leave, huh?”

Biting his way through the bitter frustration, Paul asked, “See anything good on the way?” But Aaron shook his head again. Paul sat down next to his Son, and contemplated his thoughts. “It’s time we had a talk... You’re growing up hardball, Aaron, like me... It happens to every boy, when they realize they’re their own boss, running off without a care, getting into trouble... I get that. It’s just been happening so often lately, like every other day, something’s awry, that it’s become concerning is all. She... Your mom, she stuck her head in the sand every time I told her these days would come, so she knows. She never knew how to deal with this, it used to give her nightmares. She’d wake up some nights with tears in her eyes, begging to know what to do when we got here, to this age, but couldn’t seem to understand anything I told her. We talked and the more she heard about it, the less she understood til she just told me that it was my job to handle you when it got to this point. We try to give you the best of life, so that you’ll always have that as you grow and go through hardships. I never thought it’d be me, in the Father’s shoes... Looking back down at myself as a kid... Knowing how hard it was to say the things we would have to. I often wonder how hard it was for him, knowing what I’m about to say to you now.”

Aaron wanted to open his mouth but had nothing, seeing the heartache in his old man. Something in old Paul seemed to be breaking inside, like he had to lose something for what came next. “Kid... I can’t tell you how many scrapes I’ve been in, and I’m surprised I’m even here to tell you this now. If you keep this up... You are going to get yourself killed. I can’t be your friend anymore, and you’ll grow to resent me for it... I know that... I know you will. I knew it would happen, and I missed out on the period before it would happen. I know when you’re having the time of your life, you’ll spite me, curse me... Blame me for ruining the joy of that freedom you have right there, even in the sanctity of being away from home, still clutching the can of beer you use to forget the past... When it’s time, when we grow up, we have to either accept that responsibility, or suffer regretting it until we’re too old and can no longer say sorry to ourselves. I’m certain, somewhere, it felt like a part of you was dying, wishing to stay as a child forever while the world opened up without you. Wishing for all the freedoms and none of the price of obtaining it. No one is ready for that when it happens, and I ran away from it myself, living fantasies, so how can I blame you? The harder I hold on, the more you slip away until the only thing I can do for you is play the bad guy... And tell you where that troubled road leads. It’s not about the adventure that makes you stronger, nor the scars, nor the bright morning you wake up to. It’s when your eyes open for the first time, and you can see what this road actually meant. If you cannot see it, then the mountain air, or the city slums will teach you nothing and you will be as them... Lost, looking for another hit to quell the addiction, to make you feel alive, while it never quite kills the beast.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this alive in my whole life... Why does the world revolve around killing that freedom the moment it comes around?

“Don’t you see how backwards that is? To be alive, is to be free... It’s a state of being, unshaken, and uncontrolled... I can’t put you over my knee anymore... Well, actually, I can, very easily but you’re still free to make your choices regardless, and at this stage of life, the more I punish you, the more you’ll just grow to spite it.”

“Did you not feel alive when you had freedom? When you were this age, when you felt the power in your hands to do something... Just to lock it away? That’s what seems backwards...”

“We’re all controlled by something, even if we don’t see it. Freedom to you, is not what freedom is to me anymore, but it was when I was in your shoes, and I know why you say these things. You have to believe me... I had more freedom as a kid than I did in all my wildest years as an adult, because now it’s no longer my parents holding me down that has killed my freedom while I could still dream, but the ghosts of yesterday; where I can no longer be inspired to even look at my dreams without the pain of guilt. Saying ‘I am my own’, while ironically being driven by a force to do those things instead of me. Freedom, is putting the demons behind long enough to see the angels. Until then, you are still blind, a slave, a captive to delusion, someone else’s play thing. Why should a farm boy be fixed to the TV but to forget the things that bring him to his knees and beg to forget? Have you seen it, boy? Have you seen yet? The truth? The hand that takes control of your own life like a puppet? Saying ‘I am free and this is me’ while not having the control of your own lips to say it yourself? The anger? The vengeance? When you feel like you have no choice but to do the evil things you do?” Paul looked into Aaron’s saddened slouch. “I think we both have, then...” Lifting himself. “I do this because I care, I want for your freedom, not for a slave who doesn’t even know why he does the things that he does...” Kissing his son on the forehead and hugging him. “You can beat it, you can win against it, because I did... But when I did, it was too late... It took having you, to realize that boy... I just wish you could see it sooner than I did...” Until leaving the poor sad boy to think on it.

In that weakness, the serpent came to him and comforted Aaron, but the boy returned sad. “You are trying to cheer me up, aren’t you?”

“You cheered me up, when I was down, didn’t you?” Felicity replied, missing the point. “You can go anywhere... And I’ll protect you, does he really know the freedom you have? That does make you happy, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah...” But Aaron was not so sure.

“Then you are alive. You’ve made me feel alive... Why should that be any different. You know what you said, the world is cold and cruel and expects things of others. You know what’s right for you, right?” But Aaron wasn’t so certain anymore, that what he believed was freedom, still was freedom. In all the ignorance he had seen in the old man, even Paul, his father told him about the voice. It seemed everyone knew about the Back Seat Man, except Aaron, and he felt truly stupid to let it control his life all this time.

“The moment he was free, was when he got tied down with a kid...” Aaron solemnly glummed, “Maybe it’s not so bad, dating a snake... I could live my life without the responsibility of getting someone pregnant.”

“Still a dude...”

“And I’m still not gay...” Retrieving his store back from under the bike tires. “I’m going to finish this, and go up to my room.” A cheap pillow, fluffy but surprisingly discounted. A small baby’s blanket, also soft, equally discounted. A package of snacks, and a two litre of iced tea that Felicity took rather fondly to. The carbonation just made the snake want to puke, so... Iced tea it was.

Lines formed in between the textured dots on his ceiling. Aaron wondered what it all meant. A whole life of wonders, and a million things to take interest in, like a distraction from what truly mattered; yet nothing seemed to matter without all those magical wonders. A paradox, or a paradigm, where there was no answers, only what he would do tomorrow. He wondered how much there was to the force that always stopped him, and if he would retain any thought to tell anyone. He desperately wanted to talk about it, something that was so intrinsic to life itself, that no one seemed to talk about; but a rage of disgust filled his heart every time and he wondered if everyone else felt that way too: If the force that forced his hand, did so to everyone else and that’s why no one ever wanted to discuss the wonders in life, only their selfish lives of prosperity and disapproval. Maybe that’s why Stagalnia was on it’s decent onto entropy. Maybe it was just him headed that way.

Opening the door that next morning, Aaron surveyed the room, until calling for his friend. Aaron walked up to the box, which oozed liquid beside a glass of water. It was empty. He turned to the open garage side door, where Felicity stood, carving down a large crow. “I’m not sure what you guys eat other than sweet pastries...” Felicity greeted, “but if you want some bird, I’m afraid that I scared most of them away.”

Felicity walked the long road beside Aaron, putting up with the complaints on their way to the special spot “I can’t believe you threw a gallon of water on top of the whole thing...” Aaron moaned, “It’s supposed to be out of sight, and not leaking...”

Unimpeded, Felicity defended. “A snake in a box, that’s the best you could come up with? It was so dry I felt like I was being turned into preserved!”

“I thought you’d like your bed...”

“You thought I would and never asked me what I wanted. You kept saying ‘oh, you’ll see, you’ll see, you’re going to like this...’ If I knew that, I’d have asked for a jar of water.”

“Fine, I’ll get you a pickle jar, you can be a pickled snake or something.”

As they fell on through the waters to the other side, Aaron wrung his clothes out again; this time with a little less modesty as Felicity had begone whaling about something and the two continued barked at one another. They passed by the gate of the old man Kaylemens’ residence, and Aaron was getting tired of it. “You’re being over dramatic...” Aaron moaned.

“Over dramatic? Do you know how long I’ve sat in that pond, bored out of my mind?”

“I know, I know, you told me already: Like for a moment in time, you simply awoke, as...”

“No one to tell my jokes to,” Felicity cut him off, counting it out. “No one to play with. You know how dry birds are? NO SENSE OF HUMOR! All they do is eat, and shit it on people!”

“What about when they cackle? That’s laughter ain’t it?...”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET BIRD SHIT OUT OF YOU EYES WITHOUT HANDS!?”

“Hey,” Iswana welcomed them. “It really does surprise me how long you can put up with the old geezer. I figured you’ve left a long time ago...”

Aaron waved her off, before stuttering, “Wh... When did...” Aaron’s eyes fell onto Zack, who sat morbidly depressed by the table, weeping behind the facade of his trembling smile.

“Yeah...” Zack called out, “I’m a hero...” He chummed weakly.

“I was wondering what you were up to when you stayed yesterday... Did... You...”

Zack nodded.

Extra Chapter: Zack’s Grand Adventure

“You came back alive huh?”

“Yeah, so, that happened.”

Chapter 17: The Rest of the Bloody Chapter

“I just saw you so happy is all, that I got desperate enough to actually do it...”

“How the heck’d that happen?” Aaron astounded.

“Power of love... I also rolled a like a ‘20’.” Returning his head back to the table.

“So...”

“She rejected me...” Zack dismayed, “Apparently I got the wrong signals, because, you know, no speaking and all that... Sure... Sure does makes a man feel great doing all that for nothing, am I right? At least you got another girlfriend out of all this...”

“...Yeah... we’ll... we’ll go with that.”

“A real spectacle, I assure you...” Iswana recounted, “Flailing his arms about, proclaiming a blithering oath of unacquiting perseverance, and chivalrous shriek at every corner”

Roaring in, “Where’d you learn words like this?” Kaylemen interjected. “You speak like those damn yappers!”

Retorting back, sassily, “I haven’t been able to speak for eight years, do I not get my freedom to speak my mind?”

“Well, when you put it like that...”

“Cantankerous isthmus! immaculate, egregious, atavistic, gallantry! Facetious, malapert, couquette, complacent, vitriol mercantile,” Pressing on past the bemoaning of the old man “decadent, escapade of erroneous, effluvial, unequivocal, alacrity and abrade!”

“BAWLK! Did you not hear me when I was talking to them? Do you not hear the presumptive disingenuous demeanour they use? Damned be all, now you got me saying it! Did you learn nothing from me? T’sea-T’sea, T’seaaat...”

“Why do you suppose I always brought you someone interesting for you to talk to? If I wanted to hear you talk, I’d just get you to pull out your astringent old books and read to me.”

“Not being able to talk sure bottles up a lot of frustration, doesn’t it?” Zack mentioned.

Kaylemen waved her off his deck in a huff, before sitting down with the boys. “People are more tolerable when they can’t tell you how they feel. It would be so much easier to silence it, but there is no putting the cap back on this jar... Suppose she’s gonna be rebellious now, and only outgrow it after I’ve died. Tis life.” Sadly cursing, “P’seaaaaaht.” To a long silence, then lifting his head, Kaylemen reassured. “I don’t blame you... I’ll fault you... By golly I’ll fault you like the fall of Shaylon, you damn crap apple... But... In hindsight, I guess it was a pretty romantic idea.” Walking the Balcony with his restless, pacing legs.

“Did he just respect me?” Zack whispered

“However!” Returning in the conversation, “I suppose as you’re still here, then I can always stew on this later. There is still more to be done... When you have finished with today, I have something very special to ask of you. It might even help get my apatite back... Consider it, a sign of acknowledgement by your teacher...”

Oh, a cliff hanger, on a cliff side? NICE!

Hey, you got 27 pages out of me this month, just be glad I didn’t end it at Iswana, and have to wait a month for that lame interaction!