(GE Copy)

Chapter 27: The Pride That Leads (Part 1)

“When a man has done everything possible to make void of his own soul, why then does he still have one?...”

There sat a log upon a stony beach, a rich shore amidst the bend of a forest waterway. It’s potency filled the lungs, with the cool humid breeze of the most refreshing fruit and flowers, as petals carried their way down river. There was a man sitting upon the log, gazing out at the great tree, and drinking from the sacred stream. He looked back onto Aaron as the boy neared the waters, and said. “It was their lifeblood, the last remnants of home...” Stretching forth the water from his palm. “Drink from her, that you may have strength for what comes next... For how can you remember her, if you have not the ears to hear her voice any longer?”

It’s aroma was of strong herbs and fragrant flowers, but it entered his nose like tea, sweet yet flavourless. The water in the man’s hand, however, seemed even more rich. Though part of it had been restored, or perhaps, he was what gave the water it’s savour. Aaron reached out to receive it, but his hesitation pulled him away, as colour faded to pale and muddled to grey. Aaron reached out further, but his indecisiveness took too long, and he began to wake. Aaron stared at his ceiling, feeling a glowing light billow within him, slowly fade. These dreams were his least favourite; the ones with shitty endings were bad enough, but desires left unmet, incomplete... Yeah, it was gonna be a real some-f**ker of a day alright.

Aaron cleared his head, but the morning air tasted bitter and unstimulating. The utterly average day outside his window seemed trite, though a thousand others would call it a paradise; nothing could compare to the sights and sounds he witnessed in his dream, where light still lived. Still shaking off the strain yesterday had put upon him, Aaron nearly forgot all that transpired as he walked down the stairs into the living room.

As Paul sat there, preparing for his shift, he looked over to Aaron, and the memories flooded back in. Aaron turned to look away, feeling the desire to let whatever contention simply burn itself out; but somehow, the idea of it sitting to sort itself out, just seemed like a vain and petty waste of time. He would have kept moving, but Aaron felt himself free enough to look back, and the fire seemed to have settled, even if his conscience tired to tell him differently. “Something on your mind, son?”

“Yeah...” Aaron replied, before walking himself back into the conversation. “It’s just a lot to process... Last couple days are kind of a blur.” Standing above the arm of the couch, Aaron could see Paul had a lot on his mind too; paying Aaron with his ear, until he finally managed to spool his words into one.

“Have you ever tried to be the one to tell someone else the answers, and have them laugh and scorn you like an idiot?” Aaron was stunted, as his Father continued. “Have you ever felt the pain of living the mournful proof of it’s existance, just to have someone who has never lived that life, turn to you and mock you for warning them about it? While you clearly know what you’re talking about...”

“Yeah...” Aaron admit. “I’m thinking I have...” Holding down the pain. In his mind, came a hundred outcomes to churn within; all of them, a different verbal approach to mitigate the discourse, and the fear of disapproval.

Though it were the hitching point to another long winded life lesson, Paul simply laid his hand upon the boy’s shoulder, “Tell me about it...” He humbly asked in solemn concern, sitting back in his chair.

Aaron would have been so fine as to stand, but the weight that seemed to be lifted, weakened his knees and lowered him to the cushions below. “It’s...” Struggling to formulate his thoughts, though he might have conjured them together in a fit of rage, Aaron never imagined the peace of someone caring enough to hear them for once; and Aaron’s mind unclogged, as his thoughts flooded out from him. “It... feels like I’m at my opposite. It seems like every time I want to show a different side of things, they always have an excuse for why it’s not that way. Like I’m a nut of even suggesting it... And I’m not smart enough to prove myself.”

“Some times in life... You don’t have to. You know it, and it’s their loss, just sucks when those people are the ones we love, and will never listen...”

“What if that person was yourself?”

“If by ‘yourself’, you mean it literally; then some part of you already knows the answer... The rest is just acting on it long enough to learn from it. No one should have to regret their life, in order to pick up on the subtleties that others already know... But, we all live in the school of hard Knox son; some times it takes doing the damnedest of things, because we weren’t satisfied with the answers, so we gotta temp fate, until we learn it the hard way. We try to deny it, write our own rules... but I suppose we can’t really escape, from actually just wanting to know that it was true to begin with: Just going about it the wrong way, and feeling sorry for ourselves, when all that work we did only amounted to finding out what we already knew. I just hope you learn sooner, it’s those regrets that make us second guess the joys of living. In the end, we’re just fighting against ourselves, even when we speak to others... That or a higher power; but, you’ll need about eight more beers in me, before you get any of that kind of talk from your old man.”

Walking up behind him, came in a soft voice as it butted in between the two. “Aaron.” His mother called, “We need to discuss something. You’ve been putting a lot of stress on us lately, with never telling us where you’re going, or when you’ll be back. We’re not able to handle it anymore: making food for no-one, worrying when we’ll see you again, sometimes you’re gone for days at a time! It’s not healthy for us, and I think your Father agrees on this: That if have somewhere else to stay, then it takes a weight off us, not knowing when you’re gallivanting like a delinquent.”

“I said no such thing!” Paul rose up, “I’m trying to keep him here, so he feels loved damn it!”

“You always get what you want anyway, so who give’s a shit what I think, huh?” Crystal roared back in tears, “Fine! It’s your fucking castle, Paul! This is why I don’t try anymore! Because every time I do, you treat me like shit!” She screamed, rampaging back up the stairs to her room. Slamming the door shut, there was a rattle, then a clank as the door knob fell off.

“I told her the knob was loose enough as it was...”

“Nothing out of the ordinary, right?...” Aaron muttered aloud in solemn shame.

“Yeah...” Paul lamented, opening his mouth to continue, but had already spoke what was on his mind.

Aaron sighed, looking at the chaos laid upon the household. “Never heard her drop the F-bomb since I was about eight...” Feeling the weight of his selfishness. “Doesn’t seem to be getting any better, does it?”

“It’s not all you, son...” Paul assured. “I know I’ve been a little hard on you lately; there is only so much I can do, and I guess I’m just scared of loosing you. Look... There comes a time when the bluff, that a man can still put his son over his knee, becomes obvious; and it can only be honoured in respects, because it can no longer be done... If you’re still down over the whole being at your opposite thing, just know: We only have so long to be with another. Best to mend ties early, because some people need us too, even yourself at times.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of yelling for one morning...” Felicity walked up.

“How in the wild blazes do you always manage to break into our house at this hour?”

“Garage.” Felicity informed, grabbing Aaron’s hand. “Come on Aaron, you promised me adventure. We gots hills to climb, sucka!”

“Can I at least ask where you plan on dragging my son this time?”

“Tapia...” Felicity replied nonchalantly, “It’s up past the hill, through a portal and past like two castles.” as Paul stared into his eyes, and likewise Felicity into Paul’s. They stood motionless for a moment’s awkwardness, until being giving the thumb out of there.

Gripping the bridge of his nose, Paul dismayed. “Freaking LARPers...”

Pacing up the rocky roads, Felicity lifted his arms, cracking his back. “Glad I showed up before you got into one of those hour long deals. There’s only so much sunlight, and those two egg layers need to get out more.”

Mumbling between bites, Aaron returned incoherently until swallowing, “Sorry, I gotta eat something, you ejected me out of there before I could get a proper meal. We don’t all just live off of birds and reptiles from the field.” Coughing as a dusty breeze blew past his granola bar. “So where are you off to with such a high step?”

“I did direct you to what portal we took, so obviously, it’s the middle of nowhere. Just feel that open air, that...” Snapping his fingers, “Ju ne cest qoi, that...” Taking a bedsheet to the face.

“Sorry ‘bout that!” A local farmer shout out across her field. “Laundry done got away from me there...”

“These aren’t washed none too well...” Felicity commented, blinded with the fabric fluttering past his face.

“You’re really trying too hard.” Aaron notified, walking them past the farm yards into the new unknown. “I can’t help but feel you’re just making up for lost time.”

“Is this not adventure? Is... One sec.” Felicity halted, grabbing something from the hillside. “Is this not intrigue?” Holding up a strange stick like bug.

“I’ll fortify my case, you’re trying too hard. What’s up?”

“You know...” Felicity returned, pacing uncomfortably close beside him. “Me and your dad don’t get along too well, in fact, I think he blames me for why you’ve been off lately... Sophie can’t connect with me, Zack is an annoyance...”

“Yeah, but, hes a lovable one...”

“...And your mom can’t go a day without glaring at me. You’re the only one who understands me, Aaron. Without you, I’m just the snake in the water, splashing around for a joke to tell... People don’t really get me.”

“People don’t really get me either... Not even me. Wish we had the answers, but we’re the best we got; been that way all my life. Gotta wonder if it’s the people I chose, or the only ones who would accept me... but convention has a way of playing second fiddle, so that’s just my life I guess. It doesn’t get any easier, and I think in a lot of ways it’s only going to gets worse... Until it’s only me left, the world moves on, and I’ll have to take that last train for the coast to find out where everyone else went. You’re different, so take it from my experience: either you’re gonna have to accept that, or fight fate and see how many bruises and mental scars you wind up with by the end of it. Sorry, I’ve been rather down on myself lately. For what good it’s done, I’m left with a few bitter thoughts on life. You should pick yourself up, what happens happens, no sense trying to change a dream that’s already ended, when we got the day in front of us. That old insecure me, that would try to make up for what has already been done, he makes me sick with all the time he’s wasted. We got two feet in front of us, and the whole world before them, which to fuck up immeasurably... So don’t worry about screwing up, you will, that’s the point... So keep moving.”

It seemed so vivid, to call the elephant in the room, like it could hit every nail on the head. It always appeared to be so simple, to see into the eyes of others; yet somehow Felicity always seemed to have something else on his mind, and Aaron left it be. Felicity’s antics came to a close, so perhaps Aaron’s excessive consolation made the waves it needed to assure his dramatic friend. As he looked over, Aaron could see the cold slants of Felicity’s disgust, as he returned. “You talk too much...” And Aaron sighed. Of course he did...

Pathes crossed and rose to fall, from valley passes to highland hills. They walked upon the waterways and down a deer trail crawl “Now who talks to much?” Aaron remarked, passing the threshold of a rocky mound.

“What, I only said, I’m getting tired of all the cliff hangers. Yeah, it makes you want to watch the next episode, but five seasons in? Who isn’t committed at this point?”

“For like half an hour... Look, I’m not putting you down over it. I’m kinda glad to finally hear what’s bothering you.” Aaron assured, walking the thin road down the hill towards a valley village centre. It’s stripped log cabins and dry grass hillsides, toned the town with it’s dirty mugged people, and smoke piles all around. “Wow, feels like I’ve wandered into one of those gritty medieval shows, that try to run for like twenty years on stale drama...”

“I liked Man of Bones...”

“Yeah, but you didn’t see what came before it... Every week, when I came home from school, fighting to switch it over to cartoons.” Aaron recalled, walking by eerie cast eyes and drear concerned faces. “Ah, the old ‘outsider’ town cliche is still in effect, good to see that hasn’t changed no matter how many times they remake the classics.”

“Boy...” One odd face looked out amidst the crowd. “Boy...” He crawled near, fighting through the stream of people, coming in off the hilltop. “Boy... You’re arrival is most auspicious. Take heed! Take heed! You’re kind are a sore sight upon the land. Quick, cover your faces, that they may not see you. The Kerdales are come. Hide thy face, lest it be upon the shine of their shields. The Kerdales battalion does walks these street, Heldia, Heldia! The Heldian armies are here! Beware the fall of Tarkavasta! Tanwan kids like you, needs faces covered.”

“We’re not from Tanwan!” Aaron asserted, “We’re Stagalnian!”

“Oh... that might be even worse. Good luck telling the Heldians that, though...”

“Yeah, yeah, I know; ‘one of these days, I’ll have to choose a side’, yadi yada...”

“This ain’t no clan war son; this is genocide. They’ll use your ring piece as a scabbard if they get the chance.” The old man backed away, before running back up the hill. “Take heed!”

“Well...” Aaron stood stoically sarcastic, as part of him began to believe it. “...that sounded like ominous foreshadowing if I ever heard it...”

Standing likewise, Felicity added, “At least we know why everyone’s so drear all of the sudden...”

“You’d be none-too-pleased if you’s covered in shit, too.” An old lady informed, rubbing the filth from her arms.

“Man...” Felicity dismayed, “Those soldiers really are as cruel as they sound...”

“Nah... We’s always covered in pig shit... Some times it’s goat...” She reminisced, before frowning. “...Today’s pig...”

Taking their options into consideration, Aaron made way for the town exist without delay. Aaron fought against the crowd near the city’s edge, getting caught by a passer by who’s determination followed them past the town gates. “Hey. Sir,” Called the scrawny bumpkin, who extended his sleeves as he offered himself. “Can I interest you in some fine wares?”

“No...” Aaron cut off.

“You haven’t even heard what I have to offer.”

“I don’t have any money.”

“No money?” The persistent salesmen halted them, standing in front. “Psh! Everyone has money, what kind of lame excuse is that? You got leprosy next or something? Gonna tell me you can’t touch no one? I got elixirs, tinctures, perfumes, balms, aphrodisiacs for you and your fine friend there...” The man confided seductively.

“I don’t give a shit covered fuck...”

“B-but sir...”

“Not one single Shit... Covered... Fuck... You with me so far?”

“Surely you’re in the need for something.”

“We on the same page? Top corner where it says ‘Shit covered fuck’? What does it say before then? ‘Not one’...” Fighting the man each time he tried to open his mouth “Not... One...”

“Look, I just don’t think you’re understanding the situation, so I forgive you...”

“What part of ‘get the fuck away from me.’ do you not want to hear?”

“Vocal ointment?”

“FUCK OFF!” Acquiring the attention of a few by the gate, and one on horseback.

“If we buy something from you, will you kindly fuck off?” Felicity offered, pleasing the pestilent salesmen, as they began to finally communicate. “Alright...” Lifting the salesmen over his head, “...then buy us, some TIME!” as he chucked the man back into town and watched him scuttle away into the crowd.

“I think that let everyone know where we are...” Aaron uttered in disbelief.

“I think it let everyone know not to fuck with us!” Giving the crowd his best Bras d'honneur, and ‘Italian Salute’ before taking off.

“I’m sorry...” Aaron informed, “You know, I’ve just been under a lot of stress, that I really needed to get that off my chest and just tell someone off. How’s your day going, buddy?”

Laughing, Felicity indulged Aaron, as the two made tracks out of town.

The moist brown soil sprouted fresh greenery along the path, like a rain forest finally starting it’s season. Fog seeped in through the forest floor below their ledge, mysteriously pouring out into the valley. From the distance over the hills, there came a thick steam that clouded the tops of lush trees. Felicity’s eyes widened, and he pranced on towards it. Aaron seemed to follow behind, cluelessly chasing the leader. They broke off of the trail, slipping out of sight from the main road, and Aaron checked on his jars before they got lost. At the breach of the wet forest walls, came a secluded glade of misty air. It billowed up into the sky, and Felicity rejoiced. “Boy, does I knows them, when I sees them...”

“A-a... Spring?” Aaron complained, “You dragged me here for a spring? My pant legs look like someone used them for pissing poles...”

Without a second notion, Felicity walked up to the water’s edge. Sinking his feet into the warm water, his frills and fabrics retracted back into his skin, and before Aaron was a sleek and effeminate shape. Felicity’s curves rounded quaintly around his waist, and his tender back almost seemed to distract Aaron from the reality that it was a guy. Aaron turned his face away, trying not to become confused by the shapely athlete. Soon, the girlish moans of the trickster echoed, as the warm waters loosened every knot in his body. He let his hair go, dangling down, just above his butt cheeks and turned to face Aaron with his arms lifted. Felicity seemed confused, seeing the squeamish lad look away from the flat unguarded chest of his lady-like protector. Soon his eyes slanted, and Felicity shook his head in a mocking tone. “Oh no! A naked snake! aAaHh, I’m so embarrassed! What do I do?... Get over it...” Felicity snapped back serious.

“Snakes don’t have hair down past their navels... I don’t even think they have navels either! And what happened to being all embarrassed when I flashed your chest in front of Zachery?”

“How’d you feel if someone ogled you for your body?” Felicity instilled.

“Shit...” Aaron relieved, “I’d pay my left nut to have someone swoon over my nerd ass body like Zack did to yours...”

“And if someone did?” Felicity swooned, toyishly, creeping up to Aaron.

“Down Richard Parker, down...” Aaron spoke to the ‘third member’ of their party.

“That’s my plan...” Felicity seductively crawled, grabbing Aaron’s legs and throwing him down, before dragging him to the water’s edge. Aaron clawed himself back from the water, “Just take your own advice, and relax...” Felicity groaned.

“Happy?” Aaron replied, down to his boxer breifs, as he sunk into the water.

“Just two dudes in the water, splashing about for fun like a couple of Spartans. You need to have faith in me. I’m here to protect you, how do you suppose that makes me feel to be useless for the only thing I’m good at?”

“Because I deny your love for water?”

“Because it feels like you can’t rely on me...”

“And all the TV you’d rather be watching?”

“I just don’t see why you need to constantly be running like a ninny when you have me to keep your back...”

“What of those guys that don’t like me? What about when they come in the night? What if you’re not there?”

“Then let them come... You don’t need to hide when you have me –And: If you’d sleep by my side, you wouldn’t have to worry about that either. I’m stronger than you think, why can’t you just trust me to keep you safe? You’re always freaking out, looking for something to save you, when I’m right here. Use me, USE ME! Please! I want to be used by you... It beats the loneliness of drifting from stagnant pond to useless existence. You can explore the world, but you can also live a normal life at home. I want to live a normal life...”

“Fat chance of it.” Aaron confessed, “As long as I need you, there is nothing normal about life; we’re just sitting around, pretending like a malignant force isn’t out to kill me. And what about you? Trying to be someone you’re not, just to feel like you fit in? It’s just a fantasy. Why can’t you take from my experience, that there is nothing normal about us?... We don’t get a normal life... I don’t get a normal life...” Aaron humphed, “Maybe when I die...”

“Of course I want to fit in!” Felicity cried. “I don’t want to feel alone anymore... I wanted to know your family, your life, to be a part of it. I thought I finally had that, and the person I love, tells me it’s a giant joke! How do you suppose I feel? I want you to have a normal life too! All I’m asking is for you to trust me... We... We’re on an adventure right now aren’t we? I came here for you, out of my own volition, because I want to spend time with you! Is that just not enough for you?”

Aaron laid back, absorbing the mist into his lungs. He sighed, and shook his head. “I really do marvel at my own uselessness. I see a whole world in front of me, ever close, yet far from reach; like I know what the answer is to get there, yet it’s never a good time to do the right thing, it never is... I guess I’m just not smart enough, huh? Fine. You’re my only hope then, can you really get me what I need in life?”

“To the moon, and back again!” Felicity assured, placing their hand out for Aaron “All you need to do, is accept my love...”

Aaron sighed harder, willing his body forward. It seemed like a weight falling upon him, reaching out his hand to stave the heartache of the ambitious beast. Aaron felt himself at the edge of discovering everything he needed, and it fading with the forfeit of his values. Aaron turned in his pair of jacks, as the world handed in it’s deck of aces.

“See, that was painless...” Felicity assured Aaron, as they shared the weight of the world; a weight that Aaron wished to absolve from his shoulders altogether, but knew not how. “Our prides are such a useless thing...”

“Yeah...” Aaron agreed, trading in his pride for another’s; knowing he agreed for a different reason, but met Felicity there in the middle. “So that’s all you wanted, was a hand shake?”

“If you rather make a pact in blood, that option’s always available...”

“Sure doesn’t take much to please you, huh?”

“I would have taken so much as a nod and a brotherly stare, but you had to go making it difficult. What did you think I wanted, your soul?” Felicity laughed. “I just need to know that you trust me...”

“I just don’t see why has that become so relevant all of the sudden?”

“And I just don’t understand how at every turn, you just seemed to be so resistant to tell me that you cared. Always telling myself what I already knew, just to hear you purposely walk away from answering it, again and again: Like I could never corner you to just admit it... To believe in you, while you only dodged the question; why do you think it bothered me so much?”

“You moody chicks need so much reassurance...”

“I’m a dude... Unless, you’re finally seeing something in me that you like...” Felicity teased, harassing the poor half naked guy. They wrestled and rough housed, as Felicity laughed in his entertainment. For a moment, Aaron began to believe that maybe this kind of friendship was what normal people shared, and not just the embarrassing cliche that it was. Their hoots and hollers of Aaron giving in, echoed off the valley walls. Felicity seemed to enjoy it, as Aaron lifted him for a playful punitive pile driver in the deep water. Aaron smiled, though it felt forced and unnatural; even if every sign should point towards it, something was still amiss. Aaron chalked it up to cultural difference, and continued anyway.

Aaron was thrown, five feet above the water, and crashed through the surface below. Aaron wiggled his finger in his ear, trying to uncork the waterlogged eardrum, but soon he could hear something that overpowered their cheer. “I think they’re over here...” Called one man to another. Aaron’s ears drained, as they continued closer. “Dismount here, we can’t afford to loose the horses with all the loose soil”

Aaron stood up, as Felicity clung to him, oblivious, and dragged him back into the water. Drawing their blades, four men surrounded the spring. Aaron, trying his damndest to pass the message across, managed to finally shake Felicity enough to notice the men surrounding them. “Martinas toga... The Tans have cocks on their women...”

“I don’t think that’s no woman...” Another called out, “I think they’re both... Punftas...”

Standing defensively, Aaron shouted back upon his honour. “I’m not from Tanwan, and I was not having intercourse with this man!...”

“Sir...” A man came forward, retrieving a designer shirt from Aaron’s bag. “This is clearly Tanwaise textile work, some of the best ever crafted. These... T-these punftas... T-t-there are Royals...”

“Royal hostages, you say?” Their officer jumped to conclude. “Finally, a break to get off this forsaken rock for some real action, boys!”

“Good job, Aaron...” Felicity commended, watching the boy move in behind his protector. “Finally, you can leave it up to me and watch just how, Ghaaa~” He crowed, as Aaron yanked him back to run.

“Those are people, not monsters!” Aaron moraled, dragging Felicity back through the woods.

“Way to have faith in me Aaron!” Felicity shamed, swing violently. “They’ve got their blades out, they’re spitting to a fight, let me at’em!”

Through the deep woods and moist soil, like a land after a rainfall, they stumbled about; tumbling through the moist hillsides. Finally more fed up with Aaron than their assailants, Felicity withdrew his blade, and dragged Aaron with him to reprimand later. The forces behind them rushed through the brush, protected by their armour, and cut through the twisting paths that Felicity and Aaron were bound by. What they could not bull their way through, however, was the eight foot wide stream that the nimble nakeys could hop right over. With their assailants tied, to dredge through the soft black mud, Aaron slipped past the forest wall and out of sight.

In the distance that was made, they could spot a cave up ahead; small, and barely visible outside the lip of it’s recess. Felicity severed the nearest bush of any sizeable mass, and dragged it to their earthen porthole. It fit most the gap behind them, with some overhang above the green bush. The wet weight refused to puff out, and the dying brush was more of a soggy cork to plug their entrance with after all.

Darkness surrounded the air, even as their eyes fought to adjust. For inside the blackened hole, a long trail of barren rock laid a twisting stumbling block, and little for the mind to capture. Beyond light’s last reach, came earth that only hands could navigate; and footholds, where only careful placement could traverse.