(GE Copy)

Chapter 28: The Flavour of False Light (Part 2)

“...Yet man has tried time and again to make something even more brilliant, and more captivating; crushing the meat and bone of living creatures into the presses of imitation diamonds. They sparkle without the sheen and glory of a real diamond, just as mercury can never outshine the glory of a single drop of water. It is by which accepts the light, and blood will always be dark. It lays dim, and colourless, needing hue for what it has not. It is no more than an idea, of what was once loved, turned tainted and made void of value by worthless intrigue. The lusts of men, cannot be sated by imitation, only driven further in fantasy out of greed for the desire to have, without the true light to calm their hearts.”

The road back was quiet; vehicles passed by the busy road, and people walked past on their way, but not much was said between them. There seemed to be a serious concern in Aaron, troubling his mind and blinding his motions. “You alright?” Felicity asked softly.

Aaron blinked, distracted, slowly coming back. “Pardon?”

“You just seem really distant.”

“It’s fine, I guess... Just... Been thinking about all those SEEPS fanatics earlier today, got me thinking is all. And the Seven, not that, that’s had much of a baring lately... This world I thought I knew, just keeps changing without me: How much we must have been just accepting blindly our whole lives, to get so far gone, in only two months time. These last movements have been rapid ones. I can barely recall what life was like back then, always hiking somewhere else, as me and society walked down two different paths. Doesn’t even feel like the same world anymore... And my situation still hasn’t changed; I’m still weak, refusing to grow up, trapped in my own pity, wanting what is no longer available... Wishing everything didn’t come with a price tag. How much catch up do I need to do, to be up to date the madness in this world? To return to everyone, and still be blinded from the truth? Just... Feels like I can’t return to the way it was. I never used to worry about this, always looking forward to what tomorrow brought; now... Tomorrow only frightens me. I always had yesterday, but even that memory is fading away, and what’s there to go back to? I’ll never be a child again, and my future is paid by accepting a lie, because it’s affordable, and not because I want it.”

“You’re life is your own, make it what you want it to be,” Felicity spoke, “Not what is made for you.”

“Did you mean it? Earlier, when you said we should get stronger? Coz it always seems like you don’t want me to get stronger, unless I’m mistaken.”

“I said a sword a day keeps the doctor away. Does Zack have a sword forged out of the molten core of a fallen star? That’s what I thought, you, however... Do...” Pointing his thumb back at his brilliance and glory. “As long as you got me, this sword is as good as yours... You’ve had a terrible problem with accepting that lately. We shook on it, and everything, and you still turned your cheek.”

“Come monster, come demon, whatever; but they were people, with lives: I saw what you’d do, I know what you did do. Their lives meant nothing to you, no more than animals, but it means everything to them. I can’t put a price on that, because you can’t put a life back into a body.”

“You think no different when someone slaps a cut of beef onto your plate, someone had to kill it even if it wasn’t you –And where would you be on your own? Dead. Dead by monster, dead by exposure, dead by ghosts, dead by man –being tortured as a spy isn’t as fun as it sounds; I don’t care if it’s true or not, coz what they believe it to be. Dead by dehydration, dead by freaky anomaly like infinite looping corridors, dead by...”

“Look, it’s not that I’m ungrateful. I think you’re the most powerful person I’ve ever met. I can’t deny that you’d keep me safe, even at the cost of the whole world if it came to it... It’s just... Not a price I want to pay, and... when I’m around you, I feel like I’m loosing track who I am. Who I really am... Being dragged into a game, getting lost in some false persona, shirking my responsibilities until later. I used to think this is what I wanted, but now...”

“You say false, I say it’s you finally coming out of your shell. Leave the old behind.”

“...It all gets lost in numbness:” Aaron continued, interrupting. “the constant play and shenanigans persistently distracting me from that light I saw... the man... He... He was... He was beautiful...” Though a weight had always fell upon his lips, crushing his will to speak, the frustration finally broke him past the barrier; and knew that it would not be accepted. “That person I...”

The air became heavy, like the coagulation of a setting custard, and thin of oxygen like his nose went blind; then his tongue, then his fingertips as a churning filled his gut. Aaron could feel malice building around him, like the haunting of an old memory, reminding him of who was there, knowing who he turned his back towards. Light dimmed from all around him, and through his skull came a beam that hollowed and emptied his head. He stood, blinded by the shock. His lungs refused to open, severed, and Aaron fell onto his knees and bled. Felicity’s shock riddled him with terror, as Aaron’s empty face crashed onto the pavement, motionless, cold, empty.

“Pardon, pity about your friend there...” A man walked up from behind, slowly appearing from fibres of a shadow “I’d grieve with you, but you’ve proven to be a formidable nuisance with this scar you gave me the other day. How was his head from our last bout? He still thinking clearly? Thought I nearly killed him... But you failed him this time...”

If it were so much as a hairline trigger, there came not a moment between Felicity’s shock and the anger that erupted. The cracks of road shook lose, lifting sand into the air as his howls reverberated through the skin, and the soil took on his rage.

“What, this again? Surely you don’t plan on teleporting us away, just like last time, do you?” Stepping up to his mark’s guard. “On that stupid road with you weeping in behind him. You could have stayed silent, maybe even lived a little longer.” Catching the aggravation and death stare of his opponent. “What point is there to running anymore? Life has already left his corpse. It’s me that you need to worry about; I’ve found you twice now, and I’ll do it forever if I have to! The only way to stop this is to kill me! Now stop running and let me claim my bloody Skorpal...”

Scales shot out of his skin like blades, and bones melded as his form had finally been awakened. The crackling of thunder ozonated the air as colour distorted into a static haze. Wrath churned in the serpent’s belly, and steam flooded from his nostrils like wisps. “You have stepped too far. I will invert what you have done.”

“It never ceases to amaze me how stupid someone can be.” He cackled, collecting the last ounces of his charge as the air thickened again. “Who’d talk so much in battle; if it weren’t a blatant distraction? When it’s time to talk, talk, and make it interesting.” Releasing his pent up energy, but the ground tore itself open, and the sky melted into black. The beam of light broke as all sight crumbled in slow motion, and the earth was void but a small light that grew brighter; a blue light, filled with the cold bitterness of the world to comfort his crisis. Everything else, was gone.

The haze of their foothold blew away from him, as Felicity walked nearer. His form like shadows, that bent the light to his authority. The ground shone up like lightning, and ruins laid all around, cast in the resin of his will. The man stood, nameless, teetering like a domino as his feet planted on rippling ground. His dagger drawn, felt light as his hand fell heavy, and his will to fight became weakened by the immense pressure gravitating towards him. “You’ve been a hard target, I’ll give you that...” The man bolstered to regain his composure in vain, overwhelmed by the ominous walk, that moved out of sync from the shadow’s spectral feet. “You know how hard it is to find a quiet street around here? Most kids his age just stay at home, play video games, masturbate... Easy marks, but how...” His voice cracked and choked on the dryness in his throat, and his gut fall through his bowels in advance of the crushing blow to his stomach. Light came quickly, but after the adrenaline woke him from the impact, he began to see quite clearly how slow his eyes received the world.

He fell against the solidified stone made of light, as his blade fell from his hands. He felt the surface though it were real, and it clawed into his shirt like a hundred hands until he rolled from the reanimated illumination. The darkness crept towards him, subjugating the assassin, and the shadows reached out to consume the frail light in the man. He stood, clenching his fists and thrust his knuckles into it’s head. The smoke of it’s cindering cocoon cleared away, revealing the anger that was brooding within. Shock overcame him, seeing the being of false light, only to realize the threshold he crossed by punching the genie out of bottle; and all the crippled crow could see, was the serpent’s wrath.

Blue light scattered like snakes, striking from every angle. He retried his dagger, fending the thrusting jabs as he fell back. The overwhelming mass lifted itself from the ground and he realized everything he touched was it’s body. Pillars came to life, and from the floor came a dragon made of lightning to swallow him. From it’s diving descent into the ground, it sprout out like a worm, weaving closely. It’s tentacles struck him, until he was disarmed and stumbled off the edge of it’s mighty tower.

He fell, captivated by the glowing construction of an archetexual wonder, under the rays of a blackened sapphire sky; roman pillars carved with the facets of Gothic cathedrals, and stood atop a rounded ziggurat, who’s cracks were sealed and rebuilt from it’s rubble. Light rippled in from the sky like the ocean depths, and pools of glowing liquid made a marshland of it’s foundation. He crashed through the corbel of a flying buttress, and rolled into the cavity of it’s windows. His bones were broken and his body laid heavy, as he looked up to see the slithering dragon weave it’s way down the inside of the tower, breaking terminal velocity. It crashed into him, shattering the floor with it as they plummeted down the shaft and smashed through the basin; ringing the bell with an explosion that engulfed the structure with the cold static flames of it’s hatred.

It all seemed such a visceral fantasy, the pain that surged, the lightning that shocked the very air. His lungs were dry, and sweat had seasoned him like wet jerky, as the perished assassin awoke trembling from the nightmare. It seemed so real, dying, feeling the soul leave his vessel; yet it began to feel like the fading of a dream. Blackness ripped apart the space between time and reality, with familiar shapes returning slowly. He could see the outline of the horizon, and his mark, but he knew not how. Felicity’s consciousness seemed bare, knelt in agony, clawing Aaron back into the world. The boy stood, lifted, contorting, like Frankenstein’s monster as time invigorated him before it was too late. The blue light that was so bright, seemed black now, and it’s static charge arced like threads, stitching the Aaron back together. The bounty had failed, and the fragments of the boy were reunited again. It was as through time itself glitched back in reversed, and by the serpent’s will, Felicity forced the world to bend backwards like before, when Aaron disappeared. The terrible power within, was unreal, and soon it was over.

“I wasn’t certain,” The assassin coughed, wearily, as light returned from the caster. “So I took my mark too early, hoping maybe if things turned south, I could still lie my way out of leaving a witness...” He felt himself crumble, though standing; and as the illusion faded, he was forced onto his knee before the scene of his crime. Felicity returned focus back to his eyes, and the fire that was kindled against the assassin, forced him silent. The assassin returned to the real world only to die, now that the serpents rage had been staved with his fear and anguish. Like a chew toy to the tantrum of a fitted beast, his purpose no longer valued, “I thought, a Skorpal... was dangerous... But...” The toy cried out, “I should have aimed for the real threat...” Before being tossed away.

“Light and shadows are my game, you insignificant prattling pond scum.” Felicity scowled without empathy, and cut him with a slash that ruptured the hills behind him. Time moved so slowly, it was almost peaceful to hear the crack of thunder one last time, before the eviscerating shock wave made mist of the assassins’ last remains. Sand and dirt fell, cascading a landslide behind the tracks and the reddened debris flooded past them.

Aaron had only come to, in time to see the cut, but not nearly aware enough to know what he witnessed. It seemed so numb, the ending of a lifetime, a man splattered from the world like a bug. Aaron was blank, lethargic, catatonic. He could not reach, nor operate his body. It seemed to move, breath; blood still pumped yet he felt himself asleep with his eyes open and blurry. He screamed within, desperately reaching out for control of his skin in any way he could. Slowly, by the time he could feel himself return, he forgot the panic and struggle to move again, like it never happened, and with no memory of what took place just before the attack... For obvious reasons, but even the loud conversation seemed fuzzy. Felicity fell down beside him, latched onto the boy for comfort.

Aaron looked over, unable to determine if the sea of clay sands around him was supposed to be there, or if it had come in from elsewhere. “What happened while I was out?” He returned, feeling very little power to move even his light arms, to wiped the dust from his face. “I’m not sure of anything right now.” As dirt fell from his hair.

Faintly Felicity assured beside Aaron’s ear in a sturdy monotone. “All you need to know is that you’re fine. I protected you again, just like I said I would. Those bad men can’t hurt you anymore, not while I’m here.” Under his dry breath, Aaron could hear an anger still burning like cold flames inside Felicity’s throat; a rage that coddled Aaron and begged him silent.

His eyes could see very little, though one image laid on top another, and his wooziness faded the two in between the blur of his sight. His forehead was wet, but whenever he’d wipe the blood away, it turned out to only be sweat. He did this three times now, and realized the loop he was in before waking up to the world outside. His weakened legs lent his weight on Felicity, who walked him home “Finally, I get to carry you around again...” Felicity chummed.

“I could get used to this...” As he watched the houses pass them by, until strength finally reached his feet, enough to balance on his own. The doors passed by like portals into the people’s homes, and finally they turned onto one he could scarcely recognize, as though he could forget his own house. He walked into the empty space, past the lifeless end table and coat wrack, smelling only fresh laundry. The quiet seeped in, until the phone rang, and Aaron felt himself wake up again, as he staggered towards the stairs. The strain following up the steps seemed easy, leaning himself onto the rail, and it seemed feasible to make it.

“Aaron.” Crystal called. “It’s Zack. He’s been calling for you for the last half hour.” Seeming rather frantic to pass the line over to him.

Aaron took a deep breath, and held the phone to his ear. “Yeah?” Aaron answered, hearing Zack’s much less impending tone, chatting lightly with him.

“Hey, this was my last quarter, I was getting worried that you’d never show up. You’re folks think I’m in trouble or something... Anyway *You have one minute left* –Damn pay phone... I’m not too far off. You know the dirt road up past the industrial area?”

“Which one?” Aaron replied, leaning his weight and head against the arm he braced upon the wall.

“The one closest to you, dummy. Went up there last summer, drank like four lemon limes and threw up stomach acid? Terrible memory, I know... I’m pretty much directly underneath the lookout where we camped this May. I can practically see up the giant’s nose as we speak. Lots of dirt bike trails, but at least I won’t get eaten by a bear, Maybe a cougar if I’m lucky. I’ll wait for you down by the old RnS Repairs, it’s about the only shop I remember the name of... Actually, I’m kinda already there, but... *You have fifteen seconds* –I swear these stupid notifications are there to waste time instead of saving it. Shit, now I’m doing it... Wait, hold on.” Hearing the clicking noise on the ground. “Still had a dime in my pocket, anyway I should be *You have fifteen seconds*” Hearing the frustration play in the silence between them. “...Just come find me.” As a beep and tone took over the line.

Aaron sighed, pulling together his remaining strength, and lifted off the wall. “Guess I promised him, huh?” Aaron walked towards the door, assuring his mother that everything was fine. He was nearly out when he remembered something, and returned to grab his pack, lest he run out empty handed.

Road crews were already lining up to tend to the landslide. It was odd just how easily he could forget such a recent event, but, he did have a pretty good excuse for it this time. “Just what happened here...” Aaron muttered, piecing things back together. It was surreal, still light headed, Aaron watched it from a distance. The huge cut and spillway of dirt, covered every square inch of the road, with half a foot of clay sand. Even some officers seemed to be present, with a strange satellite van and –yeah naw, Aaron wasn’t tilting this disaster with a ten foot lance. He promptly doubled back, and slipped through the empty field of spear grass, to a hidden walking trail between his neighbourhood and the industrial.

Sitting on it’s curb sat one boy, who’s shade was no longer needed in the settling golden rays of the evening air. He looked up, and from him Zack uttered. “Getting rid of Sophie was like trying to escort a bug off of a fly strip, but I finally did it without breaking her heart too badly... You look worse for ware, what happened while I was gone?” Finally noting the faint quality of his friend, though Aaron was not apt to trouble him, and simply waved it off. “Well, I need supplies, and I’m down to my five, coz they are the only thing that don’t fit in a phone booth, saved a couple toonies too. I’d get you to watch the cat, but I can’t operate these portals myself, so can I give you my shopping list? I’ve been wracking my brain and it’s just not going anywhere, I’m surprised I can even think at all... Aaron... Is your arm okay? It’s bulging.”

Confused, Aaron looked back dryly, pulling back the cloth to reveal his hidden serpent. “Told you it was boring... Just me and Zack.” And Felicity slithered back in disappointment.

The doors opened, squeaking as they did. It was awkward, walking around the evening staff and their wet floors for food. Aaron almost arrived too late, and promised the door man to only be five minutes, so they wouldn’t lock him out. Chicken, beef, vegetable, oriental, mushroom... shrimp... curry, what bloody flavour did he want? They made a million flavours, across a hundred brands of noodles, and Aaron grabbed one of everything. Tuna wasn’t cheep, and by the time he equalled things out between their stomachs, it looked more like only a few days worth of rations. Aaron pitched in, pulling a jug of water off the shelf with his own pocket change, and made it to the lonely cashier, who was watching him run around the whole time.

A couple of stops later, Aaron returned, dropping all that he could onto Zack. “Room was pretty empty, but here’s your size changer, untouched... Got you some citronella candles we had collecting dust in the spare room... Not sure if they loose their potency, but at least you’ll have some light... Oh, lighter. Gonna be real fun starting fires without it; and here is some extra water, because ramen, that and you’ll probably end up as jerky otherwise.”

“You are my brother...” Zack leaned in, hugging Aaron. “Guess this is it, eh? Independence... Crazy through, huh? Didn’t... Didn’t Think it’d be this easy to leave it all behind, I’m kind of excited about all this... How long do you suppose I’ll have to be camped out like this?”

Aaron shrugged, still glum. “It’s the easy answers that are most difficult, and the simple ones are the hardest. I had all this time to do something, and it’s my own damned fault that I’m here as I am. What we don’t pay for when we start, still gets paid for in the end.”

“Well... that escalated... If you’re worried about it, I’ll just fall on your couch next...”

Aaron opened his mouth to refine his words into something coherent, but stopped, staring into the hope still lingering in Zack. He weighed the advice that Zack may understand, before standing his bitter opinions aside. Maybe, if he was lucky, Zack would discover what Aaron couldn’t. “I guess...” Aaron turned. “Still got that hideout option, but... I think you’re better off fending against the rattlers here. Just let me know how it goes... I... I’d really like to know.”

“For sure.” Zack eagerly left, though it weren’t a single matter of contention for him. Aaron waved him off, even if they were both faced the other way, in spirit, they both knew the other waved. Though it were different road, Aaron knew it would lead them both to the same place, and it weighed upon him. Aaron looked back to see the joyous saunter of a love blinded man, wondering what would become of it; unsure if Zack’s cheer was a strength to take charge that Aaron simply lacked, or the sheer ignorance of what came next. It shouldn’t have bothered him as it did, but something about it felt wrong; and Aaron let it happen, with a hope that only masked that he picked the easy answer, of keeping his troubles to himself.

Aaron knelt to remove the spear grass from his socks as he left the tall grass lot, past the hidden trail. He lifted his eyes to the sounds, seeing a truck with a fresh load of sand breeze by, blowing dirt past his eyes. Aaron wiped them, only to see the hilltop up the road where he had nearly died; battered, eviscerated, demolished with an ocean of sand that blanketed the road beneath, it still didn’t seem real. He pondered the meaning of it all, the excess of force to slay a single crippled man. He lamented, feeling his senses cry out as they returned: perhaps that’s why Aaron could do nothing, as a numbness still resided in his skin. He felt guilty, wishing it were a dream. “I don’t suppose there was another way, was there?” Standing witness to the crime scene, looking for answers. “I didn’t... I didn’t ask for this...”

“Aaron...” Felicity retracted, sympathetically wiping the tears from him as he returned to human form. “I don’t enjoy telling you this, especially when you’re always passionate about it but... You really do realize that, physically speaking, you’re not capable of matching my gauntlet... Right? That gap between us isn’t exactly something you can overcome; and there are reasons why I have to protect you. I think it’s cute that you want to hold your weight, but there are limits of what you can do, and they are well below the base line of being able to help me. All I ask is that you show that you care for what I’m doing, I don’t mind holding up the rest... But; you need to realize that we can’t save these people, who choose to hurt you. If you do not fight back, they will kill you while you bend over to pick them a daisy. You don’t have that choice anymore. It’s their greedy evil lives, or yours... How can you still see value in monsters like those?”

“Care and care alike... All I remember, is that deep within, there is guilt beyond measure... What could cause something like that, right? Sometimes, it makes me wonder if I’m doing any better with my life... Makes choosing who deserves to live or die... Muddy...”

“Give it some time, you’re still in shock. You’ll think more clearly in the morning.”

Finally freed from the day, they returned home and recuperated. The blurriness in his eyes still remained, though piecing the world back together at times, as Aaron tried to focus. He fell back in his bed, alone, as shows played comically in the other room. He wiped the pain from his head with the cold side of his pillow, resting under it until his thoughts could clear.

The room spun as he lifted the weight from his head, only to settle not long after. With a bitter tongue, Aaron muttered to himself. “Though I know the peace I want, I know that I am powerless alone. Though I know it’s wrong, I see no ability of myself to make it right anymore...” Aaron picked himself up along his bedside, “Is my life even my own anymore? They say that it is, as they hold it in their own... Might as well just save everyone the trouble and just hurl myself from the nearest bridge.” He shook his head, admitting to the dishonest statement as the flippant satire of a depressed man. The false words felt like it could ease the stress, and Aaron laughed, as he mocked the dark voice “That’s what you’ve been after this whole time? Is it?...” Aaron huffed, “It’s not like I haven’t done that already... It’s like I gotta leave it all behind, and not in the way I wanted... But I guess that’s what I deserve for taking so long to do it, is that I’ve ran out of good options. I guess this is the way it has to be now, other people have to die so I can live... It wasn’t always, but I got what I wanted, didn’t I? Every excuse, every reason, every foothold to give it up... In the end, peace is still there outside my reach, but I’ve only let myself down... Fine, do whatever.” Feeling the seeds of anger accelerate within him, and fruit into something else. “It’s either them or me right? Fuck’em...” and he hated this feeling, as that meek voice within him hushed under the malice of his worldly anger.

Suddenly, it didn’t seem so evil anymore, and the ease of that transition frightened him most.