(GE Copy)

Unwritten Stories: Theives

One of many. It came as a joking ‘what if’ heist style story with a progression of possessions and equipment. I’d usually get board of them rather quickly, and my moral code could never allow me to actually do any of it so it was a cute escape into playing a rougher character with less moral boundaries.

This rendition managed to last the longest, and is unfinished because I bloody lost interest again. It follows a group of thieves who have an underground market. You nap it, you sell it to the company, they resell it for a lot more than they pay you for. Main character, we’ll call him something other than my first name: Jake. Jake accidentally stumbles upon a deal gone wrong, and caught in the gun fire. Well, kid’s seen too much, but the boss figures he can’t just kill the boy so he arranges something. Being in the gang is a lot better than the alternative. Jake then has to prove himself capable of doing the job and not getting them in deeper water. Jake trains and is adept at lock picking, and security systems, able to crack into any locked door. Child prodigy. He’s about 16 right now so not as bad as it could be. I didn’t really feel like writing it, so I didn’t.

Jake meets a guy named Zachery, who followed the same sidekick pattern characteristics of Lee from Cathoris’s legacy, (you know one of the hero dudes that would waste too much of my time talking about.) And evolved again into Zachery from Nephesh, with characters from 3 other stories making up the basis for him... But this is at least 30-50% of Zack’s makeup right here. Little guile, little comedian, knows the value of objects, but all the hard qualities got offloaded onto the older brother in Nephesh and thus... Zack’s older brother, but meaner. Oh yes. Did I mention that I’m really shit at coming up with names?

Jake and Zack go from job to job, moving up the world from one valuable object to another. There is not a lot of interesting qualities to the story. It was a jump in, have fun, and bugger off with the rest of my day kind of story. HOWEVER, there was one plot involving Jake’s family... Coz, like, how does that work, right? Jakes mom and dad won’t stop fighting and the father has to submit so eventually the older brother gets pissed off and gives some cold words before taking his younger brother some place better to live. So after some cold words and some hard feelings, they move out of town. Oh, hey look, another parallel to Nephesh... I’ll stop mentioning those for a while.

Jake’s older brother becomes alcoholic, always bringing home another girl, to where Jake gets sick of it and moves out into his own house that he bought through stolen money.

One day Jake runs into his dad at the store, and begs his son to come over. Jake does not. One day, after some really shitty things happen in his life, Jake returns to his roots, knocks on the family door and shows up for supper. Obvious tensions, until the mother gets deranged and starts yelling across the table. Jake stands up to leave, she slaps him, things don’t get any prettier. I had a lot of family issues at this time, so I had a lot of fuel for that scene. I have not, however, slugged my mother... Jake did. Don’t be like Jake.

Another instance happens when some people come by looking for money from Jake’s older brother, but Jake is in town and beats the ever loving shit out of the brutes. Did I mention that Jake was also a martial artist who got expelled for breaking a lot of rules? Sure puts a backspin on that family dinner retort, don’t it?... I’m so sorry for the grudges I’ve bore, and lived out in my fantasies, I regret most of this...

This is the origin for my coveted The Bacon Chronicles (still in production(No it’s not)). One day, Jake searches through his kitchen, really hungry and cynical, until discovering there is no bacon in the fridge. Him and Zachery go to the store, and during the whole trip, Jake retells the story of the invention of bacon... Except, it’s really not how it went at all, talking about how pigs would fatten themselves up and make the great pilgrimage up the mountain and when they returned they fasted for ten days and ten nights until they may be blessed by a single strip of bacon... And how since then, factories have just simulated the same experience with a gamepad controller, and that’s why you can’t find bacon that isn’t 90% fat anymore. From there, he tells more stories on the drive back, and they just got more and more ridiculous. Crazy shit man. Pigs in space... Hard ham, you’ll get to read all about it one day (No, you wont...)

The ending was planned that Zackery would get caught but somehow manage to escape. In order to pay his debts for the crimes he had commit, he was to infiltrate and betray Jake, and the whole group... Which he does, and in a grand bang, it would be the end of things... but, lost interest, haven’t touched it in like 4 years. It’s ded Jim.