(GE Copy)

Chapter 24: A Cat is Fine Too (Part 2)

“...Just like Sin will never find completion.”

With a hop skip and a bump, Old man Heathson as he came to introduce himself as, took everyone around the side of his farmhouse. His chipper tone was ecstatic with joy and the pride of a man half his age. “Well? Built her myself, two strong hands and some elbow geese. What do you think? Spiffy sonofabitch ain’t she?”

Zack tried to smile earnestly, cracking at the rickety old shit orange coloured barn. It’s fresh reeking aroma was diminished with how aged it looked, and Zack could only stumble to say, “Yeah, it’s got a real... Um... Je ne c'est quoi, to it...”

“Don't you ‘omae wa mo shindaru’ me with your fancy foreign tongue. I know when a man’s talking out his mule’s ass! Next you’ll be using fancy Delphic jib-jab like malaprop, and mollycoddle. I ain’t got no damn orating degree, talk normal dammit!”

“It’s...” Clearing his throat, “...Better than I could make...”

“You’re damned right it is!” Picking up his tone, “Five-eight fir longboard, double nail ends, painted in bog sap and pigs blood. It could take a large Pastamenian goat hurled by five men and still stand, this one, yes sir-e! It’s a damn fine work of art this time.”

“I can tell...”

Sneaking up behind, there came a snarling. The beast seemed so pleasant, waging it’s tail to the visitors until it caught smell with Felicity. “We don’t growl at fine women kind like that!” Heathson reprimanded, as his dog continued, “Karter, Kaaaarter? KARTER!” Shooing it off to someplace else. “Now get! Go make sure that turd pile there is yours, and not someone else’s!” Horking a mean spit, “...And usually he has such good manners with company. Cliff Heathson by the way, did I mention that yet? How does ya anyway?” Reaching to shake their hands a second time.

After many-a-distractions and conversations, Cliff Heathson managed to talk everyone into a cup of tea. Aaron stood awkwardly around the kitchen, distancing himself outside of things the whole time, quietly observing. He felt kinda shameful, seeing the old widower try to relive some facet of his life while he still had the youth to make use of it. He seemed lonely, like the world left him behind, but he wasn’t quite ready to move on if it meant letting go. His spry outlook seemed uncannily optimistic, though years of isolation wore their quirks within him. In a way, Aaron respected him, wishing he could have asked more of him. From the doorway, Aaron could see a young face, just a little older than him. A beautiful woman peered shyly into the kitchen until becoming so readily observed that Heathson was forced to acknowledge her presence.

“Honey, you know how I is. Guess there’s no sense pretending I’m fatherless... I mean kinless. That there is my daughter, and if yous turn out real nice-like, I’ll even tell you her name.”

“It’s Sylphene,” She introduced.

“Or you can just go and blurt it out...” Mr. Heathson mumbled to himself, taking a cracker and distracting himself with it. “Don’t you have some work that needs fixing?” Heathson firmly inquired with his mouth still full.

“I finished everything, but I can return to do them a second time if it makes you happy...”

“No, no... Stay, have tea... We should cook some bird for the guests, keep them a little longer, they ain’t nowhere better to be.”

“I’m in!” Felicity opted, his mouth salivating at the thought of ‘bird’, or any food for that matter. His gluttonous habits should have been catching up on him, but the metabolism of the snake managed to somehow maintain it’s thin curves and feminine figure. Before long, they had been there over an hour, falling to hear some other kooked up crazy story that it almost became warming. Zack’s eyes fell deeply upon the farm girl, and the more they went along for the ride, the more Aaron was beginning to suspect this was Zack’s adventure or something.

Sitting around the dinner table, Old man, Clifford E. Heathson, was on a roll. Still gabbing as they waited for their meal, he continued to tell them. “City kin like yerselves should be heading Sheltz-ward, about the only town that seems to remain outside the dispute. Got lemon scented lady lickers lurking up that Dendeen pass for the last season, tossing anyone that ain’t Heldian from the cliffside, or making a night of it... And not always in that order. Heck, the men usually just get the cliff treatment, poor bastards. Some say that’s not a bad way to go... Then there is the Bargar gatehouse. Guessing by the surprise on yer faces that means you got in through Kagadale. Most the refugees make it in that way these days but they’ll start marching there too, second they jump out of their suits long enough to spot it.”

“With the amount of back story and world building that always gets dumped on us, it’s almost like... We’re supposed to pay attention to some greater story at play.”

“There’s a lot of stuff the listener doesn’t do: Take warnings, write things down, give a damn about the world buildings... I once told a listener to pay attention to the next part, just for him to say it didn’t make any sense. I told him to pay attention! ‘just sounds like lazy writing’” Old Heathson mocked, barking, “‘couldn’t you come up with something better?’ They like to criticize you for the things that you give them, like they just want to hear the story and not listen, and they come up with their own interpretation even when you gives them the answers... And I implore them to do it!... Or don’t do it, it’s one of those.”

Pan faced, Zack rose his hand and inquired, “We’re still talking about people like us, right?”

“Yeah, what did you think we was talking about... You sure are a self aware individual, aren’t you? Sign of a troubled childhood, that is.” Mr Heathson, dismayed, pitying the poor lad as Sylphene set the table with the savoury cooked meat. “Anyways, if’ens ya still too green to hear an old man’s small talk about the world, how about the weather? You play any Drop Cricket? Har be-in with-a-these-a lame folks ya’her?” Pretending to be some kind of jaunty youth.

“Yeah, I’ll go back to worldly events.”

“Well, if you do find yourselves up at... Ah, who the heck am I trying to fool, you don’t where where half this shit is. Just keep your heads up and a bush at your ready. It’s getting hard for even us blumpkin ass looking mother chuggers to cross the road without Sargent Scotch Bonnet breathing down our backs. It’s a damn travesty! We used to hork and spit as we passed one another, it was the civilized thing to do; now we’re scared the armies will hear us snuffing our noses and come looking for a business to mind. I’d warn that they might try and search you, ‘case they find some Tarka folk hiding here, but the way you’re dressed, they won’t have to. I’d count that as lucky... ‘Cept it ain’t. You ever think about dressing like you own nothing and are happy about it? Might deter them a little, if they think’s ye’s already been served, know-what-I-mean?”

“Father,” Sylphene begged, “I’ve hardly got to hear about these young travellers, and we’re near finished our Nunot Roots.” She pouted.

“You just wanna elope with some fancy walking tragedy waiting to happen, so someone’ll write a song about you...”

“Father!”

“You’re right, you’re right; I wanna hear their stories too. So, you Tanwanese or just fae?”

“Father!”

“What!? We like the fae’s, they keep life interesting...” Mr. Heathson remarked, being silenced by a loud thud against the kitchen window, and the sound of a frightened chicken, followed by the cackles of children. “Damn kids throwing cocks at my windows again!” Heathson roared, running out to chase them, as another living, breathing, chicken made unwilling contact to the glass. “They’re birds, dammit, not pasta! What are you trying to do? See if they’ll stick?” Slamming the door behind him, his muffled voice still penetrating the walls “How about I throw you, see how you clinging to the carpentry!”

In utter shock, Zack muttered “Am I the only one still questioning what’s going on out here?”

“I should know what to expect of the infinates...” Aaron confessed, “And yet I always end up asking myself the same thing...”

“You’re completely unbothered by any of this...” Zack continued, directing the farm girl’s attention “You know, if he’s being unfair, you don’t really need to sit by it...”

“Don’t mind him.” Sylphene replied, “He seems rather harsh with me in front of others, but he’s just worried he’ll loose me. Since mama passed away, he’s held me tighter. He loves me more than life itself, so I don’t mind the pressure it puts on me, but I’m scared it eats everything behind that mask he wares for everyone. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot seem to recover from the loss.” Retaining mournfully to herself, until returning her gaze back to them. “Perhaps if there were a second woman in your party, he may feel more at ease...”

“I’m a dude...” Felicity defended,

“Oh...” Sylphene stuttered, “H-how very modern...” Before chuckling, “If you want to see some real embers fly, you’d do well to get Father started on the fur kin.”

Lifting his spirits, Zack’s eyes widened, “I don’t suppose those are the tall two leg walking animal people, with the mammalian glands and the bushy tails?”

“Yes, but I take it a lot better than he does.”

“What can you tell me about them!?” Zack exclaimed. “What kind of things do they like? Where do they live? Is there like an animal city? How many varieties do they have?”

“If you want to know about them, then I might not suggest bringing it up after all. Father has some rather abrasive opinions that don't make for good educational commentary. If ya truly want to know, Perhaps I could entertain you further after dinner, but my Father won’t take kindly to men taking time with me.”

Punting Felicity with his elbow, and a suggestive winking, Felicity returned to Zack, “I’m a dude, though... This is coz everyone keeps thinking I’m a chick, isn’t it?”

“Well, I could sneak out to the attic space, but you’ll all need to make it out there too... It’s far too cold lately to jaw wag past sundown...” Quickly raising her drink to her mouth as the sound of the front door swung open.

“Damn Jakason brats!” Heathson scowled, “Next to the fur kin, I does hates them best.” Tossing his shooing cane off into the room’s corner. “Makes me feel bad for the animals being compared to’em. Think that animals can be used like that, it’s despicable. They ain’t no two leggers, they got souls, dammit! They’re living breathing creatures, with feelings; can’t just go throwing them at people’s walls! Save that for them two leggers... Bad enough they get thrown at people’s walls, someone had to go behind the woodpile with the family dog...”

“Father!” Sylphene interrupted

“Well, that’s how I figure they came into being, evil acts of perversion. How else you get half breeders like them anyway? Half man, half rooster... Anywho, I shooed those shit disturbers good this time...”

No one could quite figure what had became of Old Cliffard Estile Heathson’s hatred for the fur kin, but likely it was just the going thing when he was born and grew into it. Aaron and Zachery both needed to return home, but managed to pull some string when the old farmer offered them a room. Zack’s determination bordered on serious, even if Aaron couldn’t quite take him that way.

As he lead them to the spare room, Mr Heathson informed them, “I needs it be said, so open yer ears. I’m lending you some bedding, out of me own goodness and me hospitality. If I’s catch yas with me daughter, by the closed gates, there will be divine retribution once more.” and they waved off old Hammer Hand Heathson of Dandergale up the stairs in stern understanding, before the man could add another letter to his name.

Aaron wasn’t so worried about the outcome at home, he was ready to leave that behind. If anything, he felt empowered to take his rebellion into his own hands; but even as he did, he noticed thoughts and ideas swirling around that he had not constructed himself. Thoughts of arguments, and pride, screaming and justification; it was intoxicating as it enveloped him, and caught him off guard at every turn of his mind. Part of him knew better, while another took joy in the fire that kindled, and another cried in fear.

“Pst...” Zack mentioned, pulling Aaron from his sleepless trance. “He’s been snoring for a couple minutes, It’s about time we head up before Sylphy starts cranking out some Z’s to...” And Aaron followed his friend, dragging his snake.

Ready to climb, Zack stalled at the bottom step as it’s creaky board cracked into his confidence. “You know... I’m just thinking... Old man Heathcliff or whatever said he’d be um... Divinely retributive or something if he catches us with his daughter?... Maybe one of you wants to go first, test the waters... Someone who can withstand a pitch fork, or a blunderbuss...”

Getting eyes from both tag-alongs, Aaron took the railing and moved up the weary stairs. He kept himself close to the vertical supports to muffle the creaks of his steps, as even Aaron was starting to understand Zack’s dilemma. Next came a creaky step that echoed without mercy.

“Who’s that?” Heathson shot out from his rest.

Sweat poured down Aaron’s back in his delay of a response, “Um... Meow. Meow...”

“Ah, Mr Scruffy, keep it down, I’m trying milk the cow, or was I polishing the rod?” Until his snores returned and Felicity walked past, having taken note which step was the rickety squeaker.

Standing over top, Zack felt the board before begin to sag with a loud noise. “Who’s there!?”

“Um... The cat...” Zack muttered without a moment’s guessing thought.

“Then who spoke, then?”

“I’m... Behind the cat...”

“Oh... Sorry then.” Before a couple more rounds of Z’s

Opening the door, there she was, retrieving the oil lamp from her bedside and giddily beckoned them to the corner of her room where a loose board could be shifted from the ceiling. She left them the lamp as she crawled up over the dresser and above the wardrobe. The boys tilted their heads as though confused, but glanced a fair view at her bloomers. Ah, of course, bikini briefs hadn’t been invented yet.

Sylphene helped lift the boys into the up stairs crawl, and walked them along the wall supports until they made the furthest corner. “It’s much quieter than pulling the ladder,” She informed, “I used to do this when I was a lot smaller so my mother wouldn’t begin worrying. I used to pretend I was a Kata. It’s not a real thing but that’s what I called it, because I didn’t really know what I was pretending to be. Always waiting for the solemn letters’ call. Can’t tell you how many times I was almost caught, so I know every path around here and marked it; so don’t go too far or you might fall through the ceiling.” Instilling some caution into her audience. “So, what is it that you want to know?”

“How did your mother die, anyway?” Zack mentioned, stifling himself to change his tone as he explained, “It’s not why he blames the furries, is it?”

“No...” She replied, stunned from the blatancy, “...but of course he blamed the fur kin for that too, he’s always been that way. Father’s been at odds with the Fur kin since I can remember, stirring all manner of trouble for them. It’s been a very hostile wall between us and them for a while. I don’t know who started it first, but it’s been a contention with most the folk here for a while, and I haven’t the faintest idea why. It’s been normal life for everyone ever since I can remember... As you’ve seen, he doesn’t take kindly to the subject around the dinner table. In all of it, I still can’t imagine how it came to this caustic point.”

“We talking like angry words over the fence kind of odds, or like... Throwing rocks and pitch forks at the windmill kinda of odds?”

“It’s come to a mutual understanding lately, so the only incidents in recent years have been reserved to words, but it has been less civil in times past...”

Snickering, Aaron snidely remarked, “Well, don’t expect the folk here to hold your wedding processions for you...”

Somewhat shocked, even the rebellious young woman blushed, “I didn't know you were so... so interested in the fur kin...”

“Yeah, nah,” Aaron assured, “I'm kind of a top half of the Centaur kinda guy... Zack’s the one preparing for his next role play...”

“Your really eating this up, aren't you?...” Zack scowled

Gleefully, Aaron assured “It sustains me...”

Throughout the night they exchanged many stories that were excluded from the table, as Slyphene could finally inquire without constraint. Their tales were fascinating, but in all of it, they could see that she never had the courage to embrace them herself. Though watching readily by the window, the spirit of a young girl trapped away could see the world unfold around her, and it pleased her. For what little she could offer, it seemed certain how Zack was going to maintain tomorrow. Sure enough, as they tucked away, all he could comment on was how he’d set out at first light. He seemed more perfect for her, Zack and Sylphene both shy of the world, fascinated by so very little; but his eyes were determined for another. Aaron chuckled warmly as he fell asleep.

The table was set, wafting the early air of bacon and root crops. Standing sleeplessly stood a very pleased young woman, who welcomed them all with a smile. As they dished up, they could hear Old Cliff Heathson rummage himself into the hall. “Had the weirdest dream, cat was talking to me...” He announced, as he cleaned himself for breakfast, “No idea how he got behind himself, probably just another mystery about when we sleep.” Smacking his lips “Better not have been no damn two-leggers trying to make hell babies with my Scruffy! I tells ya, he ain’t equipped for that kind of torment... Oh, right, just a dream, sorry about that.” Sitting himself around the table, “I often wonder if our dreams take place in another realm, like we simply reconnect with the vessel on the other side... But, why is it always different when we show up, and with other people that never seem to remember the us being there? Lady Annabell once said dreamt I was doing some mighty unrealistic things out in the back shed, I sure don’t remember dreaming about that, think I’d remember something like that. Sometimes they don’t even look like the people you’re treating them as. I don’t know who I was talking to the other night, but it sure wuddent the granny I know... Must have been one of the in-laws. Dreams... Just what the hell are they, anyway?... Well, back to work.” Lifting himself to leave, “You kids wanna help out? Pay off some of that hard pulled vegger we shovelled down last night? Ooo! That was some fine greens.”

Guiding her father midway, she helped sit him back down. “Weren’t you getting yourself ready for breakfast, Father?”

“Dammit, you’s right, I was.” Putting his things aside once more. “You should come by the barn, especially you young lady.” He called to Felicity, “Try out the new pulley system, gonna need some grass clippings though to store up there and dry though, any you good with a blade?”

His talkative nature didn’t settle, not for one moment, even as they set out the door and thanked him for his hospitality. “You sure you don’t want to clip the hedges?” The lonely old farmer asked, as Felicity slipped behind Aaron and Zack to slither away out of sight.

They could hear the quick trouncing of the dog run past them as he caught up with the snake and lifted him from the ground, flinging Felicity forward like a rope. Unable to fight the centrifugal force that spun him right round, the snake cried a tiny whimper, “Why am I being punished?” As he was thrown into the spin cycle.

“Get him Karter! GET’EM!” The farmer cheered, “Give’em the old left right! Yeah! Smash him in the ground! Now give’m a tail spin!”

Fed up, Felicity returned from his deceptive form to pick up the dog, and throw it at the shit-orange coloured barn. The dog yipped as it was thrown against the wall, rattling the barn so much that it’s windows fell from the hinges. Karter lifted himself, shook like nothing had happened, and walked away content. In a state of shock, the old man muttered. “You’re going to have to leave...”

“See! I told you!” Felicity jumped ecstatically, “Good things really do happen!” as a couple more chocolate roof panels slid off the side. Needless to say, they got their outing alright.