(GE Copy)

Unwritten Stories: Lorie

This was a mistake. Let me rephrase this: This was a well intentioned mistake, that should have been left to bloody die. You can skip this one if you want. Go on, just look for the next title page.

Not that the base concept was inherently a mistake, but in my 8 chapter attempt to revive it, things went from creepy to worse. See, when I was 14, I had a few things in my life, and a few things I liked to experiment with. Lorie, was my 14 year old attempt at transitioning. Yeah, that kind of transitioning. So, make up a story where you are a girl, and load it with everything that a 14 year old wants to see... It’s cute, until you turn of legal age, and then it’s not so cute anymore.

So, what’s the problem? 14 year old me, liked things a 14 year old likes, you picking up the pieces yet?... Fine, I’ll dumb it down for a PG audience and everything’s cool, yea?

Take a guess.

Well, as a gay youth, I had a lot of ambitions and good intentions... You know, like feeling it was my duty to promote the acceptance of gay youth --Which, all very good and well... Until I touch the touchy topic of mature themes in adolescent characters. I could remake every character as mature aged character, but then I wouldn’t have the same story, now would I? So, what’s the point in writing Lorie and not Bridget, you following?

No matter how many times I tired to PG the work to a family friendly audience, it kinda flopped too, coz like... It wasn’t made to be like that. Hey, what 14 does when they 14 is what a 14 does when they 14. I’m not anymore... So, reinventing the story just stepped on too many toes and I had to abandon it. Would I redo it? EH, Herosae Kitsune already promots gay people, I don’t need to make a train wreck like Lorie just to say I did it.

The go of it was this... And I’m sorry for what you are about to read.

Lorie, 14, moves to a new home after having a stalker incident, and has to start a new life where she can’t tell the whole world who she are... Coz last time, it didn’t go over so well, because people just didn’t understand, and started blaming everything on the wrong issues.

In her old home, she was completely open about everything, and some times it got her into trouble. People wanted to party with her, and she got into a bad circle. Well, one day, she gets abducted which was completely unrelated to the way she was living but it got blamed for the things she chose to do. She got chained up with some other youth, and if that is starting to sound difficult to write for, it’s because it was. Cops show up, just in time, save the girls before anything bad could happen to them and they all go home happily ever after... Until the guy that got away, starts stalking Lorie, throwing message bricks through windows and the parents have to ditch town... Hence, moves to new home.

Well the recompense for that was that the parents didn’t know what to do and made some pretty strict guidelines for what could and could not happen so Lorie is restricted from doing most things pretty hard. She meets some people at school; one geeky booknerd who disappears after 10 chapters time. Nothing happens to her, seriously, that’s kinda the thing. I forgot all about her and she just had a moving away from the circle. Real reason, she was boring, failed character, move on. There is a Goth chick who constantly torment’s Lorie in cute ways, and is a complete jerk to people she’s not close to because it keeps people away... Her name is Diann, or ‘Dane’ by her friends. Her issue is that people hurt her, and if someone can put up with her horseshit then the person might actually care enough not to hurt her again. Then there is Sky, Lorie’s love interest. They become good friends, and discover that they live rather close. The story revolves around them, with Lorie being Gay, and Sky being undecided until one day, at the birthday party when things go terribly wrong and the neither of the parents are happy about it.

I would like to take this time to say it got better... I really do. I really want to say that. It doesn’t. Did I mention it’s also depressing and has no characteral motivation?

So, long extended periods of having to love in secret, eventually the parents come to terms that two girls don’t make a baby and they kinda wave the thing off. You know, I wish there was a plot to this story, but it just kept going. Slice of life genre and all that right?... But... without any decent resolve to make things happen, there wasn’t anything to write and the more I wrote the more I kinda gave up on there being anything worth jotting down... Also, it was uninspired, and I had the constant wall of Lorie’s artificial social problems just getting bigger and bigger than I couldn’t even write how to fix things. You can only write ‘answer just magically happens’ so many times until you realize you’ve been defeated and that’s where it ended... I’m shitty at being a woman, okay!

There was a few interesting notes however. There was a plotline with a mouse in the new house that would constantly be pissing off her dad. She took care of it, got sick, and took the thing to the vet to get it stairalized to be kept as a pet, spending a lot of money that the father had no voice towards coz they just bloody well did it without him. A lot of jokes about accidentally dropping cereal boxes over top of it and mouse disappearances.

The neighbour was always a helpful guy who’s parents always yelled at one another in between chats.

Mark, Lorie’s older brother was a punk, with loud music and dark rooms. He showed up from time to time. He treated her like she didn’t exist but would usually walk home from school to make sure she was safe and that no one hurt her. One guy tried to do something creepy to Lorie after the Birthday Party incident when it was raining at a bus stop, and we found out that Mark could fight. He falls in love with Dane.

Lorie is met with the stalker again, and is taken to an abandoned airport hanger, where Dane, and Mark show up, and almost kill the guy.

Lorie finds the girl she was tied up next to at the abandoned residential before the cops showed up, and befriends her online.

Dane’s father is a complete white face with black makeup goth guy who’s super skinny and looks like a famous celebrity that I can’t remember who... And would always get comments on how much he looked, sounded, and acted like that one celebrity.

The trio of girls made a secret base that no one knew about in an ally with wood pallets

Story fell apart pretty quickly, coz as I said, no plot... Started trying to make characters do things uncharacteristically because I didn’t have any other way to progress the story and the damn thing fell to shit.

It’s dead

Gone

Fucked to the winds

Story over, go home.